Youth want to talk about their grief

By Max Girardeau

This beautiful sentiment is one of many shared by the young people during the wrap-up reflection of our newly launched Grief Advocates Programme, a partnership between Apart of Me & Visionaries. This project is funded by the Co-op Foundation and part of the #iwill Bereavement project.

A new peer-to-peer support system to support with adolescent grief, for youth, by youth.

“I have really loved this space and I am going to miss it. I have learned that it is okay not to be okay. And that there are always people there to help you. I am committed to helping other people”

Across 10 weeks Nikki & Sola from The Visionaries and Ada from Apart Of me helped a group of 10 incredible young people to process their grief and work together to explore what support other bereaved young people should receive based on their first hand experiences.

Helping young people to process their grief after the loss of a loved one is a hugely overlooked developmental need, which is why it was such a privilege to co-design alongside youth what support they believe others in their situation should receive. After supporting them with their first hand experiences of Complicated Grief (this is when an individual experience intrusive thoughts about the deceased, avoidance, and intense negative emotions) we co-created, and will soon launch, the Grief Advocates Programme.

The project was with young people who experienced grief through losing a loved one. We brought them together through offering a facilitated and supportive online weekly meetup. The sessions took place on zoom and each week we followed the same framework, but explored different content, quotes, poetry, and other resources based around grief, as inspiration. Here’s a typical session flow;

Embodiment practice to help all to fully arrive and be present – e.g. breathing, movement, mindfulness
Group Agreement & Principles
Connecting and checking in: Games, Song, storytelling
Topic/Activity in focus: Based on one of the aims and principles
Closing / checking out

My personal journey with grief

The first 5 sessions were based around the Self and their personal journeys with their grief. At The Visionaries, we always focus on creating a safe container and space that encourages people to connect to their own feelings and compassionately to one another. This supported the participants to explore their own journey of grief and to be willing to share authentically.

To support a feeling of psychological safety, we allowed space for pauses and silence, and the first few sessions were focused on creating group agreements and guiding principles. We played connective games, set intentions, explored the importance of self-care and looking after our mental health and provided opportunities for extended learning.

Every week they were introduced to new mindfulness practises such as a ‘medicine walk’, embodiment practises, breathing, movement and martial arts.

Co-designing for others

In the last 5 weeks we explored activism and began to co-design how they wanted to turn their grief into compassionate action. To talk about this more deeply, we introduced and hosted talking circles (see our blog on why we need to help youth to talk for more on this). This created a way for the young people to be able to share their stories of grief and express themselves authentically. Using this methodology we held a grief circle and ritual space where we lit candles, brought objects and shared stories of our loved ones that had died.

Seeing the young people each week becoming more open and able to share, communicate and express and connect with each other, was a pleasure to witness. They led mindfulness practises for one another, check-in’s and check-out’s, and took leadership roles in bringing research questions that began to define the co-designing process.

It was wonderful to see the confidence grow in each person and beautiful to witness the way they stepped up to hold the space for each other. In the final session we held a talking circle to reflect on their experience of joining this community, the process and what they are taking forward. Here are a few of their testimonials;

“I have learned to stop and ask myself during the day how I am feeling. It is so healthy for you, I am committed to these mindful routines. I committed to taking up new opportunities and helping other young people. It has been really amazing.”

“I learned how to share when I am not okay and letting people in a little bit more, I am committed to making what we create as big as possible and open this to my university”

“I have learned that when you surround yourself with the right people it is really easy to be yourself and be confident.”